orioles

Las Vegas - From the MAKE 'EM LAUGH/MAKE 'EM CRY vault, here is my EPIC story of me making MILLIONS of readers cry.

C'mon back with me to the start of 1988 baseball season, and the ugliest of ugly, the HISTORICALLY inept (at least in the American League) Baltimore Orioles who lost 21 in a row to start the season. The BIGGEST losers EVER were the 1961 Philadelphia Phillies who lost 23 straight. For those that might ask, we're not counting any streaks from the 1800s.

Had been handicapping baseball games in my Pitching Form for like five, six years, and doing pretty well.
So, when the O's losing streak hit 13, I came up with this BRILLIANT idea. I'm like, they gotta win soon, and I'll grab 'em, then double up my wager until they win. C'mon, how many more game could they lose. Turned out, it was EIGHT. Shoulda paid attention to the GREAT Tim Kurkijan who was covering the Birds for the Baltimore Sun and wrote "All you need to know about the 0-3 Baltimore Orioles is that they're hitting .143, they have been outscored, 18-1." Foreshadowing?

Still, I'm thinking, why not press. It was actually a pretty AMAZING lineup, with two future Hall of Famers, Cal Ripken Jr. and Eddie Murray and a shoulda-been-in-the-Hall-of-Fame, Fred Lynn. Add another Hall of Famer, Frank Robinson, as the manager.

My readers were and are average Joes, some called us SQUARES, betting $25, maybe $50 bones per game. So, I bet the Orioles in game 14, for a quarter, and naturally, they lost, 8-6 at Milwaukee. Plunked down $50 on game 15, and they lost, 7-1 to Milwaukee. Doubled up to $100 for game 16, and yup, they lost again to Milwaukee, 13-1. Squeezed $200 bucks out of the wallet for game 17, and yes, they lost at Kansas City, 4-3. Was on the hook for $400 in game 18, and they lost again to the Royals, 3-1. This is now getting kinda serious, because at the time, I was probably making around $300 per week. Gotta stay the course, so went to the bank, back in the day when you actually had to walk into a bank and TALK to a teller, and withdrew $800 bones for game 19. Of course they lost, 4-2 at Minnesota. At this point, I advised my millions of readers to shut it down and eat the losses. But like a total PUTZ, I was gonna stay with my program till these lame O's won a game. Hit the kids college fund for $1600, called my guy, everyone had a GUY back in the day, and pushed ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED BONES into the center of the table for game 20. This would be the last of it, win or lose. Had lefty Scott McGregor on the hill for the O's, who was coming off a 2-7 record in 1987, against Hall of Famer, Bert Blyleven. Shoulda stayed away but HAD to play the streak. It was an OBSESSION. Guess what? Another Baltimore loser, 7-6. So, we're coming up to game 21. Do I hit my son's Bar Mitzvah stash, or just crawl into a corner and barf? Would have to find $3200 bucks, which doesn't sound like a fortune, but in today's dollars, would be a little over $7000. And for a working stiff with a wife and four kids, making three hundred and change a week, had to finally put a full stop on the wagers. Actually, NO I DIDN'T. Game 21 was a Thursday afternoon affair, with Mike Boddicker on the bump for the Birds against Minny's Allan Anderson. LUCKY 21 BABBBEEE!!! Uh, NOPE. The Orioles lost again 4-2. With no chance of doubling up to $6400 bones, unless I sold my Mickey Mantle autographed glove, this time, it REALLY was a FULL STOP! Of course, at this point, you all know what happened next. Game 22 was a Friday nighter in Chicago against the White Sox, with Mark Williamson on the hill for Baltimore against Jack McDowell. Final score, Orioles 9-0!

At least I learned my lesson and since that HORROR SHOW, have NEVER, EVER bet into a streak again.

This DID make me cry at times, but NEVER had so much publicity in my working life for being such a LOSER. It's the old adage, 'Love me or hate me, but PLZ spell my name right.'

Ya got one that made you cry? Hit my Email, ben@americasline.com.

----------------------------------------------------