pool party

Las Vegas - POOL PARTY! There are a couple of dozen pools in Vegas where you can get your SPLASH on for July 4th, and after doing extensive research, you are welcome, wanna throw out a couple. Say hello to The Jemaa pool at The NoMad Hotel, which is actually part of the Park MGM. Here's what you can look forward to. Inflatable flamingos and pizza slices. Chugging from champagne bongs and ordering crazy drinks, like the 'Porn Star' which features champagne and Absolut Elyx topped with a Barbie doll or a Ken doll. SERIOUSLY? Yea, they're SERIOUS! And I'm probably leaning to the Ken doll if you're interested. Nevada residents get in free, so, if you're in Vegas, CALL ME, and I'll give you my license. As long as you are 6'3" with brown eyes and grey hair, you should have no problem!

Of course, there is the Bare Pool at The Mirage. According to their literature, they offer a sophisticated, upscale environment where women can go topless and enjoy the sun. Well, I AIN'T sophisticated and probably certainly not upscale. But did tell Mrs. Ecks & Bacon that I have to take one for the team, and drag myself down to the Strip to report back to the millions reading this column. They ask you to take a stroll along the jungle-like path to discover a 14,000-square-foot hideaway that encourages European-style sunbathing. And, as we all know, European is a code word for top-optional. There are two luxurious dipping pools, a full-service bar, a half-dozen plasma screens, lavish poolside daybeds and well-appointed cabanas. It’s gonna cost you some large bills, if you need a price yell, but it's only money right.

On the MLB board, gonna roll out West and grab the Mariners with Robbie Ray over the A's. Why? Because Ray has allowed only two earned runs in his last four starts over 27 innings for a 0.67 ERA. That's why!

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